This critique is provided by Kuzuhara Hiroyuki, a Shihan rank bonsai display specialist. He wrote and sent this in Japanese, and I have translated it. The photos are from the Toko Kazari competition at the Clark Center for Japanese Art and Culture.
First off, when displaying a Kengai or Hankengai as the main tree, it is good to use the tall table placed on top of this type of large jiita. However, this tree, with its thin trunk and styling would be considered more of a bunjin styling, and in this case it would be better to not use the table and place the bonsai directly on the jiita. Also, when using this type of large jiita it is a common rule if you are using an accent piece to place the accent in the upper right corner behind the tree.
The second point is that the height of this kusamono is too high.
The third point is that the picture in the scroll works well for this display, but for such a small (shohin size and thin trunk) tree, the scroll is much too big. I have made changes to the display to show how I think this would be an improved display. Please look at the two pictures. For the revision, I have used a Kuzuya, which is the way houses in olden times looked in Japan with the thatched grass roofs.Click image for larger version Name: No4-Shin_No_Shin_Scroll Revised Kuzuhara.jpg Views: 16 Size: 48.4 KB ID: 19352